Ah, back in the 'grove, and the feeling is...delightful.  Away from the white trash of 1505 W. Antis St. for a long time, so I'm doing well.  Though, the PEZ dispenser told me I could eat whatever's in the fridge.  Which was essentially a bag of limes and a case of beer.  Haha...he's so funny (sarcasm included).

Anywho, I came across this video on YouTube, and it essentially sums up the job from which I retired.  Just substitute "Sharpco" with "Cutco"--would've been way cooler if I got to do more than just smuggle knives around...crappy blade runner job...

A terrible thing has happened.  Tragic, woeful, unexpected.  No, I'm not talking about retiring from the knife-selling gig (which, by the way, I did!).  No, it's far worse than finding myself suddenly and pleasantly unemployed.

I...(this is hard to admit, after years of making fun of this group)...I like a Coldplay album.


But friends--any miracles/conversions in your lives as of late?  Please, feel free to share.  I hope that I'm not the only one with such a...bizarre life as of late.

I think I'm going to retire from the knife-selling gig.  While I still possess an immortal soul.  Let's just say that I feel incredibly dishonest and unethical engaging in subterfuge and finagling and calling and haranguing people into watching the knife demo and then into pushing a sale.  The product is fantastic, but that's not enough to make me feel good about what I'm doing.  Now I'm being accosted by those dual spectres of my socialist political ideology and my Catholic guilt.  Jesus.

Don't feel like describing it in detail now, so I won't.  Maybe later.  Let's just say it's been dispiriting, and life since 11 May has been dispiriting enough--so I'll just wait for my change of pace.

Two days of training down.  One to go.  And tonight...I still have to schedule a lot of appointments and then call my manager back to let her know how things went.  Let's hope people answer their phones...and tomorrow I'll start driving around with a Skylark full of knives.  Now that sounds like the plot for a Blade Runner remake.  Let's just change the plot and everything.

Over the past few days--and after an amazing trip to valindamar's humble abode in the great state of New York--I have this to say:  I miss my girls.  All of you.  A lot.  The only thing that's been keeping me sane these past few days is reading Lord of the Rings (finally), which could easily be written as a hobbit story worthy of shrinkwrapping.  Check it out, I've been thinking of this (during training, too...give you any ideas of how I feel about my job?):  "Shadows fall over Middle-Earth as two young hobbits travel to the dark land of Mordor, where they discover the light within while avoiding the criminal carresses of the nefarious Gollum...."  Listen, kids.  I'm reading the books.  It's not that Aragorn/Frodo thing you should watch out for.  Samwise and Gollum can't keep their mitts to themselves.

Okay, back to making phone calls.  Tomorrow I shuttle knives around Blair County.  Maybe I should adopt "Blade Runner" as a new moniker.  Sounds much more badass.